


Breathing in Reverse

by black_shadow



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: +more - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt, M/M, Temporary Amnesia, its good, just read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:57:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7110313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_shadow/pseuds/black_shadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander never ment for it to turn out this way. Now Thomas doesn't remember a thing and heart break washes over him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wooh! This is inspired by a dream I had.
> 
> This fandom is lacking the stereotypical amnesia Fic so I am here to deliver.
> 
> enjoy
> 
>  
> 
> -Creator

The incessant beeps of machinery pounded in Alexander’s head. He was sitting in a white hospital room, tomb.

His legs bounced nervously. 

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to have a nice day out, a day they'd both needed for a long time. Thomas wasn't supposed to get hit in the head by some homophone on the street. He wasn't supposed to fight. He wasn't supposed to pass out. They weren't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to be in a white hospital room with too many wires and not enough air.

Thomas was supposed to be fine. They were supposed to be in their bed right now, cuddling or doing more. He was supposed to be laying in the comfort of their mattress, not watching the slow rise and fall of Thomas’s chest as he laid in this hospital bed. 

\------- *earlier that day*

Alexander had all but got on his knees and begged Thomas to go out for the day. They hadn't done a date like this in a while. They didn't see the need, they were living together, they saw each other all the time but Alexander still wanted to go out. 

They went from store to store, a sort of shopping day. When they got to a clothing store Alexander stopped, squealing as he saw a sweater that wasn't all the extordinary. Thomas wouldn't like it, that was for sure but he grabbing it anyway. He held it up against his front, “thoughts?”, he said with a wide, cheerful smile.

Thomas started laughing as hard as he could, doubling over slightly. “Does th-”, he was cut off by his own laughter. “Does that sweater have a turtle on it?”, he asked with a loud happy sigh.

It was widely known that Thomas hated the very thing that was a turtle, the reptiles repulsing him but seeing Alexander so excited about it made him laugh loudly. He loved Alexander so much, god he was such a goofball, such a perfect human.

His perfection

“Can we get it?”, he asked excitedly, jumping over to Thomas. “Or are you gonna be bitter?”, he asked, booping the others nose. Thomas rolled his eyes, looking around the store. They ended up doing that for a while, just looking and enjoying each others company. It really had been to long.

Thomas caved and they bought the sweater before they left.

 

Wnen back out on the street Alexander seemed weary. He pulled at Thomas’s softly as he noticed the men across the street, staring with awful knowing eyes. He'd seen those eyes before, the ones of hate. He didn't like where this was going but Thomas didn't get out of the way fast enough and he couldn't just let them yell. He always was a fighter after all.

\--------

 

He moved uncomfortably in his chair when he heard a soft groan from the bed. He jumped to his feet, moving to the side of the bed that was closest. He grabbed softly at Thomas's hand as he opened his eyes, slowly. He watched as a soft sense of knowing shifted over himself. 

“Hey sleepyhead”, he said quietly, smiling down at a dazed looking Thomas. 

He was met with a cold stare from a once soft man. Its wasn't like he hadn't seen this glance before, they weren't always buddy buddy but usually this didn't even come out when they fought.

“You're looking at me like I have three heads Thomas”, he said, a thread of confusion lacing his voice.

“Why are you here”, Thomas spat, rolling his eyes. He pulled his hand away from Alexander's grip more forcefully then needed. He crossed his arms in front of him, cracking his neck. 

“Thomas what are you tal-”, he was cut off by a groan from the dark skinned man under him. 

“Get out. Now”, Jefferson growled.

“Thomas Jefferson you will not talk to me, your boyfriend, that way”, it took all of Hamilton’s wavering courage at the moment to speak those few words. He was met with a gasp.

“Hamilton, did I hear you correct? I mean I know I'm a pretty face but really? Boyfriend? Thats a new low, even for you”, he spat the last few words, giving Hamilton the once over.

Alexander's face dropped, tears pricking at his eyes. “What”, he choked out, gulping back a sob.

“You've really lost your mind Alexander”, he said, looking at a standing man in front of him, one that obviously was trying to hold him composer. Trying desperately.

“Thomas this isn't funny, jokes over”, he let a small whimper leave his lips but he spoke in a whisper, just enough for the two of them to hear.

Thomas sat up more, pulling Hamilton in.

“Am I laughing?”, he whispered harshly in the others ear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They come to terms with what they've been given.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still getting used to writing with these characters. I'm feeling kind of sick so this is just a quick one. Expect more!

Like the darkness, there is something to the feeling of not knowing your surroundings, not seeing the color of things as they appear, but seeing them as they truly are.There is something about unknown, the stillness, the cold. There is something unspoken about the dark, something that can never quite be put into words. Something that is terrifyingly beautiful.

Alexander pulled away, dark eyes scanning the boy on the bed under him. Thomas's hair still curled in a way that caught Alex's attention. He looked the same for lack of better word but there was something different about the way Thomas looked at him.

“Do you not remember?”, he asked softly, a new found sense of gentle laced his voice. His hands balled into white-kuckled fists.

Deep Breaths

Thomas rolled his eyes, fiddling with one of the wires, uninterested in the conversation. “Remember what Alexander? You have no right to be here, where is James?”, he asked, looking around the room. 

“You and James had a falling out 8 months ago”, he said, warning in his voice. A small crack in his voice near the end of his sentence sent Thomas’s head shooting up. He didn't want to admit that this made him weak, but this made him weak. Thomas was his rock and he was Thomas's. Alexander had fought tooth and nail for Thomas and now he was going to slip through his fingers again. 

“What? James and I have been friends for years, what are you talking about?”, he snapped, clearly confused.

“We had just started dating-”, Thomas cut him off.

“Alexander are you feeling alright? Even if I had decided to kiss that loud mouth of yours I would not make it public, that is for sure”, he spoke with a sense of knowing. A snake like mouth, wiping words out of nowhere. Stringing them together in a way Alexander didn't like. "Are you feeling alright? Why did I ask that. I'm the one in the god damn hospital bed for reasons still not known to me", he added

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, a quick cough clearing the lumo from his throat. “We went to the park for our first date. You made a picnic with stupid French cheese and your stupid black and white picnic blanket that you always keep at the top of your closet", he spoke quickly, a sense of panic racing through him. “You made me untie my hair, I borrowed your sunglasses, I braided flowers into yoir hair we found aeound the park”, he added. “Thomas?”, he questioned.

Thomas was looking up at him with a gaze he couldn't quite place. “My sunglasses..”, he trailed off but soon snapped out of the state he was in.

Alexander smiled slightly, looking to the other. “You remember”, he said happily, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. 

Thomas shook his head at that, “not a bit”, he hissed, eyes dark. "Alexander what are you trying to prove? If you have a crush then just say it".

Alex reached behind his head and pulled down his hair, ruffling it slightly. It was greasy, he needed a shower. The bags under his eyes said he needed sleep, they were blood shot not only from the tears but also the lack of sleep.

Alexander was the first to break eye contact,quickly storming out of the room. “Doctor!”, he yelled, a nurse running up to him.

The diagnosis of Amnesia hit him hard, he was knocked off his feet, stumbling back into a wall of feelings he hasn't dipped into a long time. 

He was losing someone else he loved. First it had been his father, then his mother and by the time he was 15 he'd lost 3 foster families he was about to lose the one person who loved him the most. He couldn't think about it, never talking to Thomas again.

Breath

He was collapsed in the waiting room, having been escorted out when Thomas said he did not want to see Alexander. The panic was overtaking him. He hadn't done this is so long, the number was in triple digits by now, he was sure. He mentally erased the number, 0 days.Alex looked down at his hands, picking at the bed of his nails. 

He felt like years of his life had been erased. 

Him and Jefferson had fought like cats and dogs but a drunken night had changed all that. He remembered the way they slurred their words, drunken confessions documented and posted on Facebook the next day. They had no choice but to come to terms with it. 

He was crying now, hot streams of salty sadness sliding down his face. 

\-----  
He found his way back to the room, after begging the doctor that Thomas wasn't in his right mind and that they lived together anyway. 

He watched as Thomas swung his legs over the side of the bed. “They said you could go home?”, he asked.

Thomas nodded and went to stand but nearly fell over. If Alexander hadn't reached the catch him he would be on the floor right now most likely. A red glow adorned his face as he regained his balance. “T-thanks”, he stuttered out, gulping slightly as he stood there, Alexander still sort of holding onto him. 

“I'm helping you get dressed”, he said in a voice no higher then a whisper and went to work on removing Thomas’s hospital gown. Jefferson couldn't really protest anyway. He obviously needed the help. When the gown fell and nothing was under it though Thomas let out a small screech, covering himself. Alex couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Thomas so embarrassed. 

“I've seen it all before Tommy”, he purred, giving a slight light hearted chuckle. Alexander threw a pair of baby blue boxer briefs his way. “I'm sure you don't want my help”, he added. 

Thomas looked from the boxers to the hand that covered him. He sighed, finally letting his hand drop. “Please”, he spoke uncomfortably, basically begging for Alex’s help. He happily gave it. Alexander slipped to his knees, grabbing the fabric. Alex couldn't help but laugh.

“What! What is so funny!”, Thomas demanded, blushing a dark red shade, eyebrows knitting together. 

“I just can't help but remember the other reasons I've been on my knees for you”, he said with a small smirk, standing. This wasn't like Alexander. This was better then the alternative though, being sad and gloomy. Soon enough Alexander was done, reaching for his shirt. He buttoned the buttons slowly, “we live together, you know”, he said as he left his eyes rest on the buttons and his fingers rather than Thomas’s eyes. 

“Well, if we're dating like you say..”, he trailed off, his pride almost to worn down to put up a fight. “Then..I suppose I don't have a problem with that”, he said, a small head nod closing his statement. 

Alex went slowly with his pants and socks, having Thomas sit down to do his shoes. He was such a snob, he dressed like he was important. It amused Alexander. “Thomas, I promise it isn't so bad”, he said quietly thought he knew the time to follow would be awful. 

The doctor had just told him to stick it out. Keep up reminding him until it came back.

Breath

“Well, you always were a sight for sore eyes Alexander, I'm sure it won't be too bad”, and with that Thomas had decided to start walking out the door, slowly. The medication rushing to his head. 

Alexander followed.

He guloed slightly, “I guess I'm driving then”, he added as they walked down the hallway together.


End file.
